Thou shall memorialize your goals and study them daily.

“Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines...”

Brian Tracy

            By now, if you have been reading this blog a bit, you have come to understand that I am one of those people that truly believes in “goal-setting.” I love New Years Resolutions and really any process that involves you sitting down and figuring out what you want and, more importantly, how you are going to get there. Every New Years you will find me hounding my friends and family about their goals for the New Year. Even Lent is a time to set a goal, albeit for an even higher purpose…(give up chocolate…give up beer…give up whatever…but set a goal and then darn it…stick to it).

            Being already this type of goal-oriented person, I surprised even myself at how moved I was while sitting at my daughter’s AAU basketball practice.  For those of you unfamiliar, AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) basketball is a very competitive form of basketball, which generally takes place in the Spring and Summer after school-ball is over. Girls that really want basketball to be a part of their futures from all different high schools try out for teams all across the country hoping to keep playing a sport they love and further attempting to increase their exposure to college coaches who may one day offer these girls an opportunity to play at the next level (college). So, suffice it to say, these girls are already driven, motivated and, of course, goal driven.

            Given that we are new to Indiana, my daughter, Gabby, has a new coach. He  too, appears to share my passion for goal-setting but he takes it even one step further…he assigns goal-posters. The girls are required to prepare a poster at the start of every new AAU season which outlines their main goal, their short term goals, and their long term goals. I already loved this idea but I loved it even more when he explained to Gabby (and the other new members of the team) that these goals were not just basketball goals, but rather also spiritual goals, academic goals, and family goals. He wanted the girls to go home and first determine what their goals were, but then, much more importantly, he wanted them written down, glittered, highlighted, etc…basically do whatever you want to your poster. Only one more rule… after you shared your poster with your teammates, you were to place your poster somewhere where you would stare at it every night before going to bed and every morning first thing before your feet ever touch the floor.

            I loved her coach a lot before that moment, but after the assignment of this task, I loved him even more.

            What a fantastic opportunity for the girls. A chance to really soul search and figure out what you want to do with your life, both this year and forever. A chance to make a written commitment to setting your goals and detail how you plan to reach those goals.  I loved it. I really did.

            Gabby rarely ever wants/needs my help with her homework which is a good thing. Her math level is so far past my limits, it’s almost embarrassing. She read a book for AP World History this summer that was so difficult and so thick that I couldn’t get two paragraphs into it without asking her if they made cliff notes…

            But with the goal poster, I was thinking she would likely need my help. Maybe just a few tips as to how to best phrase something or maybe some guidance about what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, right?

            No. Nothing.

            I offered and she said she had it covered so I left it at that. To be honest, trying to fulfill someone else’s goals for you never works anyway so I figured this was the perfect opportunity to let her be her…let her decide her destiny…

            That next Monday night as she stood before her teammates and described in detail how she wanted to develop a closer bond with God and was going to do so by confiding in Him more often, I just sat quietly, really unaware that she felt that way. I watched how her and her coach discussed the daily bible verses he gets sent to his phone (by an “app” of course) and how he feels if he didn’t get a chance to honor God in any other way that day, at least he gets to read and think through the verse. He thought maybe she would want to try that too.

            I thought, wow, this is everything coaching should be…he’s listening to her goals, even those unrelated to basketball and helping her find ways to achieve them…Even John Wooden would be proud…

            Gabby discussed her love for her sisters and yet how they can drive her crazy. Typical for sisters, I’m sure. She said she was going to make an effort to help them more and have more patience with them; she discussed her basketball goals of course but in truly concrete terms. Not just, “I want to increase my foot speed” but how she was going to get there this summer (jumping rope, running ladders, track work); and she discussed how she wants to grow up and be a sports reporter like Erin Andrews on ESPN. She wants to intern this summer (unpaid, if necessary) at a local TV station in the sports department to learn the ropes and get a jump-start on her career.

            And lastly, she said she wants to work every day to one day become a successful sister, daughter, wife and mother and to always make her family proud. I think that is the one she already has the jump-start on…

            In any event, I left the experience so moved. Just hearing girl after girl share her deep darks secrets and goals. Each relying on the others not to laugh…not to judge…and most importantly, trusting each other to help all of them reach their goals.

            I went home and could not get that experience out of my head.  I was thinking how everyone should have one of these posters. They can be made in classrooms at the start of the new year; they can be made in clubs to describe what you are willing to give and what you hope to receive for membership…they are applicable and valuable in so many arenas of your life…not just the athletic ones….

            So I sat down and started my own goal poster. Both short term and long term. Including all the same categories as Gabby did…spiritual, family, work, athletic…I figure you are never too old to set your goals. You are never too old to share them with others who may help you reach them…

            And, shoot, you are never too old to use glitter…

-Hoping you get closer to your goals today,

Claudia             

Thou Shall NOT Make Excuses

This next piece written by my husband Kevin is one of my favorites.  As one of the coaches to our oldest son's baseball team, he feels that part of his job is to teach the boys "life lessons" through this sport that they all love so much.

He wrote this piece last year, but I had to recently pull it out and reread it to our kids as a "reminder" to them to get a grip and stop whining about how "unfair" things are.
Like my friend, Renee Mainous, says, "Life's simply not fair! The fair is something that comes around once a year......"(and now I can't remember the rest, but it was cute....sure wish I could remember the rest of it.) ha!!

Anyway, my youngest son, Slade, (or "Gator" as we lovingly call him) has recently had trouble with his inability to control his "baseball temper" when he strikes out.....or misses a play......or whatever else might happen that he feels responsible for.  He'll come back to the dugout all mad and huffy....(even tearful sometimes)...and we all know as Tom Hanks so eloquently put it in "A League of Their On"....."There's NO crying in baseball"!  (ha)

Slade will literally call me over to the dugout to whine and complain about the umpires call! "Really, Gator?! Seriously, bud, that call is over and done with....nothing you can do about it now......so buck up! Turn the page! Change the channel.....do whatever you need to do and get on with it....but, you better stop this pouting right now, or things will NOT be so great for you, I can promise you that." I say as I huff back to the stands frustrated.  Grrr..... (ha!)

Anyway, after the tournament, Slade's coach talked to the boys about being able to move on from a personal frustration..... "You NEVER let the other team see you rattled.  THIS can only help THEM ....and ultimately, HURT you.  Control your emotions," was the basic message from their coach.

Here is the piece Kevin wrote last year that I pulled out to read to Gator (and the other two)...but especially to my little "caboose".  He needed it the most at this point.

Kevin wrote:

"Never lie.  Never cheat.  Never steal.  Don't whine.  Don't complain.  Don't make excuses." ~~ John Wooden


These are six simple rules to live by that are all very important, but we're going to focus on the last three:

*Don't Whine!

*Don't Complain!

*Don't Make Excuses!

Why?  Because it does absolutely no good!  In fact, it only makes matters worse.  If you feel that the umpire made a bad call on a third strike, does it d any good to throw your hands up, stomp around, go back to the dugout and throw your helmet?  Absolutely not.  You have no control over what has already happened.  The call is made, you are out, and you stomping around and acting like a baby is not going to make the umpire change his call.  What did you do with the other two strikes?  The odds of an umpire making three bad calls in one at-bat are slim, which means the other two strike are all on you.  So 2/3's of the strike-out are your fault and only 1/3 is the umps fault.  Instead of focusing on something of which you have no control and cannot change, focus on what you can control, which is your play in the field and your next at-bat.

"Please don't make a second mistake because you are thinking about the first." (John Wooden)
If you take that strike-out onto the field with you, you will not be at your best which will likely lead to an error.  Now you've let your team down twice!  You struck out.  Big deal!  Everyone strikes out.  It's part of the game.  "You should do your best, and if the results were unsatisfactory, keep quiet about it and work harder next time." ~Joshua Wooden.....(John Wooden's father)


One of the things I love about sports is that so many of the lessons we learn in sports also apply to life.  If something doesn't go your way in life, and there will be many times that it doesn't, very rarely will it do you any good to whine, complain, or make excuses.  All you can do is learn from it and move on.


"Blaming, cursing, hating doesn't help you, it hurts you." ~ Joshua Wooden


And lastly, DON'T MAKE EXCUSES!  "Excuses are like hiney-holes....everybody has one and they all stink!" ~ (Coach Kevin quote)




Coach Kevin

**Okay, debated on putting my husband's last quote in here....but decided to leave his message as is and in it's entirety.  Gross analogy, but good point. Ha!

Anyway, have a great day and think about these 6 simple rules.

They are goodies!

Teri

Thou Shall Focus On the Things That Are In Your Control

"Don't try to be better than someone else, but never cease trying to be the best YOU can be." 
~~ John Wooden

My husband, Kevin, helps coach our oldest son, Steele's, baseball team.  Steele's team is a truly gifted group of athletes.  And, quite frankly, a group of really terrific young men.

They have always been a dominant force on the baseball field. But as wonderful as they are on the field, what they do off the diamond is even better. 

They enjoy doing charity work together during their off-season.  And they always have the sweetest spirit about doing it.

Like I said, Very special group of boys. :)

Well, in the middle of last year's season, the boys found themselves very disgruntled and perplexed over their poor performance in a couple of ball tournaments. 

The boys were really beating themselves up over the losses. And as a mama, it was heartbreaking to watch them get so down on themselves.

Kevin felt desperate to help pull them out of this "mental slump."  He decided to send a few emails during this time period to help pump up the boys....and bring them back to who they really were: A fierce and competitive team, comprised of a group of great friends.

Each of these emails that Kevin sent had a particular message and moral that he hoped would resonate with the boys.

I was reading a few of them today and thought I'd share them every now and then as many of them apply to life, as well as to baseball.

This particular one he wrote is good for anyone who feels like life is passing them by....or maybe someone who feels that others seem to be getting all the breaks in life.....OR someone who tends to keep the "wrong score" with those around them.

*Anyway, I hope this resonates with you like it did me.  And remember when reading this that it was intended for a group of young teen baseball players. (But apply it to your life in any way you see fit.) ;-)

Kevin wrote:

In life and in sports, there will almost always be someone that is better than you, whether it is running, hitting, throwing, math, reading, a nicer car or nicer clothes, etc.  You have no control over how good the other person is or what material things they have so it is a total waste of time and energy  to focus on that.  Instead, focus on yourself and the things that ARE in your control.

What you can control is whether or not you are doing everything you can to be the best that you can be.  Are you the person that only practices hitting at scheduled batting practices? Or are you the person that takes what he learns at practice, and works on it on his own?  If you're struggling in math, do you just do the assigned homework or do you do extra math problems until you've mastered it?   These are things that are in your control and only you can make the choice to be the best that you can be.  This mindset will result in true success.

Coach Wooden says in his book, "True success is attained only through the satisfaction of knowing you did everything within the limits of your ability to become the very best that you are capable of being.  Success is NOT perfection.  PERFECTION is what you are striving for, because perfection is an impossibility. However STRIVING for perfection is NOT an impossibility."

If you have done this, regardless of the final score, you HAVE attained success.

Coach Wooden went on to say, "The score cannot make you a loser when you've done your best; it cannot make you a winner if you've done less than your best.  The 'score' that matters most is the one that measures your effort....and ultimately, only you know the score.  You lose, you feel bad....sometimes very, very bad.  But a much worse feeling is knowing that you haven't done everything you possibly could have done to prepare and compete."

This concept applies to sports, but more importantly, it applies to everyday life, as do a lot of lessons we learn from sports.  So, every morning wake up and make the choice to be the best that you can be that day...the best son, the best brother, the best friend, the best citizen, the best student.  Do this day after day and you will accomplish great things in your life.

Nick Saban, love him or hate him, is obviously a great coach.  He once said, "People assume that everyone is trying to be the best they can be.  I believe most people are okay with just getting by and being average."

Which person are you?  Are you average?

Coach Kevin

***What a lesson, huh?  Think about it.......We are actually in control of our own destiny.  And the success is not really the end result, right?  Our success is the "striving part"...doing our best everyday to be the best us we can possibly be.

Gotta love it.

Gotta live it.

Gotta believe it.

Now get out there and control your destiny! ;-)

Teri

Thou shall not allow others to spoil your enjoyment of spoiling your children…

“A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about.”

-Migued de Unanumo

         I recently read an article on the internet about how parents are destroying our youth through the spoiling of them. Really? Hang on a sec, though…doesn’t it matter what the context of the spoiling is? After all, doesn’t everyone want to be spoiled? I like when my husband spoils me. I try to spoil him in return. Doesn’t seem like a bad deal to me. But why is it so bad when I spoil my kids?

         To be honest, I try to spoil my children every day. Not just take care of them…not just fill their needs…not just tend to their problems….no, not just that. I try to s-p-o-i-l them.

         And for better or worse, I usually succeed.

         Lately, the news seems to be filled with stories of problems with kids. They spend too much time on their cell phones. They don’t appreciate the value of a dollar. They don’t help around the house the way we used to (waaaaay back when…you remember…in the “good ole’ days”). Do my kids have these problems? Of course, at times. But I’m a big believer in the 90% rule. If things are going your way 90% of the time, you are doing really well. A 90% is an “A” in school after all, and who doesn’t like an “A?”

         So, in terms of their role in our family, my kids seem to maintain an “A” average, and this, I’m sure you will agree, makes for a happy mom. In return, I spoil them whenever I can. Sometimes it’s monetary…I can admit that. My kids don’t get an allowance but when they want to go to a movie or want to buy a new dress for a dance, I am happy to oblige. Sometimes I spoil them with my time. No matter how busy my day is, if Alex (my 5^th grader) invites me to lunch at her school, I go. Period. If I have to rearrange an important call, or if I have to give up a hair appointment that it took me 2 weeks of begging to secure, that’s ok…I go. Having a 9^th grader who would likely pass out if she saw me appear in her high school cafeteria, lunch in hand, I am all too well aware that Alex will not want me to have lunch with her forever, so I’m going. Period. End of discussion.

         Now, as I have mentioned, my spoiling of my children is not done completely selflessly. Remember, my kids have to maintain their “A.” Seems like a good deal though, right?

         Well, I was thinking about this topic just recently when the Gary household was experiencing what we all feel is the worst day of the year. April 15^th (tax day)??? No. Last day of summer before another school year begins??? No chance. No, it’s a day far worse which sends shivers down the spine of every member of my household. It was “mulch day.” For those of you who are unfamiliar, let me explain. One day a year, we order a pile of mulch to be delivered on our driveway which usually is so high, even the most experienced dirt bike rider would balk…It’s huge, it’s heavy and it just isn’t going anywhere unless we get “all hands on deck.”

         This year I had my pep talk all planned. We were going to tackle that pile and get this job done so fast that we could make it to a movie later that afternoon (bribery)…and, if the kids just quit the pouting about the all the work that had to be done and all the blisters that would take time to heal, I would take them shopping and let them each pick out a little something (more bribery). I had my pep talk set…I was ready…I felt like Coach Brooks ready to address Team USA Hockey in 1980 as we were set to battle the Russians for the Gold…oh yes, friends, this had to be good.

         That morning, as I made coffee I saw my first little sleepy-head appear in the kitchen. My early riser…always Alex. I thought about planting the seed about our project…I considered just giving her a one minute abbreviated version of my “inspiration” just to get the juices flowing. But I held back. Better I wait for all to descend the staircase…all fill the tummies (us Gary women react better to bad news on a full stomach).

         I went in my bathroom and proceeded to get dressed, now fully ready to tackle what I knew would be an unwilling crowd…

         And just then, I looked out my window to see my sweet little fifth grader filling her cart with pitch-forks full of dark heavy mulch. I saw her straining but determined to lift each load. I saw her sisters out tag-team planting the new roses I had just bought the day before (one digs the whole, the other plants and back-fills).

         I literally stopped in my tracks. 

         “What a minute,” I thought. No pep talk needed? No begging? No bribery? Sure enough, much to my surprise, they didn’t need it.

         And to be honest, they don’t need my help with their homework…I don’t even have to be ask if it’s done. I just know it is. They each have rooms in our house that is their job to keep clean and I rarely, if ever, have to remind anyone to “monitor their room.” They just do it. They do their own laundry (even most of the baby’s). Sure, there are days I help, like the days when I can’t make it to Gabby’s room because the pile of dirty laundry has now grown so big, she might as well consider sleeping with her sister rather than trying to maneuver over it. But that’s rare…like I said…the 90% rule.

         So, yes, I spoil my children. Any chance I get. I spoil them no matter how many times I read stories of how, by doing so, I am creating little spoiled brats. I do so, no matter how many times I see news reports of how spoiling can lead to the creation of little monsters. I do so for one reason and one reason only…I do so because they spoil me every day as well.

-Happy Weekend, Claudia 

        

                       

           

           

              

            

Thou Shall Not "DIP".....Unless A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y Necessa

There are a few things in this world that gross me out.  Men chewing tobacco is one of them. (Especially when one of those men happens to be my husband, Kevin.)
Number one, they have to spit it out when enough juice (gag) has formed in their mouth.  Some fellas use a "spit cup" (double gag) and some just spit it on the ground wherever they are standing. (Seriously disgusting.)


We all have those "things" that disgust us....and while men "dipping" is my pet peeve, women smoking cigarettes is Kevin's.  Kevin's mom was a smoker while he was growing up (she has since quit) but I think that is why he feels so strongly about cigarettes.  I don't know, but he just hates it.


Anyway, Kevin has stopped and started back this bad habit of chewing tobacco (or "dipping" as he calls it) more times than I can count.  I literally cringe whenever I spot him opening up that little round tin can and "pinching" out the tobacco that he places in-between his bottom lip and gum. (Aargh!)


Well, a few years ago, I had the "bright" idea of just what I could do to make him quit FOR GOOD!


My great idea?  Simple!.... I decided that I would start smoking! That's it! Yes! I had it all planned out!  When he drove up from work, I'll be outside smoking my cigarette!  AND, I'll act like I like it... I'll blow smoke out of the side of my mouth, like a pro....and I'll put my hand on my hip, like so...just to look extra cool.  And as he walks towards me, I'll take a big ole swig!  When he leans down for a "hello" kiss, I'll turn my head and blow out the smoke while he kisses my cheek!
BRILLIANT TERI!!  YOU. ARE. SO. FLIPPIN'. BRILLIANT!
THIS IS GOOD STUFF.

That very day, I went out and bought my very first pack of cigarettes....came home.....and while I was waiting for him to drive home from work...I totally PANICKED!  All these thoughts began swirling around my head:
*What if I choke?
*What if I get sick?
*Oh my gosh! What if I get addicted after one puff?...and then crave cigarettes for the rest of my life?
*And the kids! What if they tried it because they saw mommy try it?!

What am I thinking?  Dad gum it! I can't flippin' do this!
DANG I-I-IT!

Kevin drove up...and I had already chickened out.

HOWEVER....I was not finished plotting out a plan to help him quit this nasty habit.  I realized I had to be creative because the "usuals" didn't work.  Begging never worked.  Threats didn't work.  Even reminding him that he is a doctor and KNOWS better!  He knows what could ultimately happen.  But none of that worked.

IT FINALLY CAME TO ME!  Since I wasn't going to smoke, I hatched an even better plan! I would DIP!! Yep!! If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?  I would chew tobacco right in front of him so he could SEE with his own eyes how completely disgusting it is!

SO....the next day, Kevin was outside working on his tractor.  I could see him from the kitchen window.  He was in his work pants, no shirt...and yep! He just spit! He's got a dip in his mouth right now!  THAT was my cue.  Desperate times, call for desperate measures, right?  Go, Teri, Go!

I run and put on some cut-off jeans shorts, tank top and to pull my hair back in a pony tail so Kevin can have the full picture of this "new dippin' country girl" he married.
I find his can of skoal.  I get a big "pinch" of it and place it exactly where I always see him do...in-between  my bottom lip and gum.


The first thing I feel is this sort of stinging sensation on my gums...Hmm...wasn't really expecting that.  Then, I run to my bathroom mirror to look at myself and .....I get tickled!  I looked absolutely ridiculous!  I practice talking with it in my mouth so that I will be able to look "natural" while in character.  I get tickled again.


It's so weird....when you place tobacco in your mouth, your accent automatically gets like hillbilly hick!  You would've thought I was from the hills of Arkansas! 


I finally walked outside to where Kevin was.  He was by our pond working on his tractor.  I brought him some ice-cold water (as that was my excuse to go out there.)


I say, "Hi.  Thought you might could use some ice-cold water." (handing him the glass)
He looks at me and says, "Thanks, Babe."


I get sweet satisfaction as I notice him give me a double-take.  I stare at the pond like I don't notice him looking at me at all. 


I finally break the silence, "Sure is a beautiful day, isn't it?" 

(Ooops...some of that nasty juice slides down my throat at this point....yuck!!! act calm, Teri.  Act like you've done this before....OH NO! There it goes again!....It keeps sliding down my throat and it kinda burns!...Oh no...what do I do?!....think, Teri, think.)

Kevin gives me a sideways glance and smiles at me with his eyes and says, "Yep, sure is.  Hey, How you feeling, T?"

"Fine. Never better." I lie.


He then asks, "Hmm...What do you think about me moving those logs over there by the oak tree and making a burn pile over there by the shed?"

***(Conversation in my head)***

"I don't give a flyin' flip where you put those logs!  Do you not see (uh...oh...it keeps going down my throat!), do you not see that I am grossing you out by dipping?!  Are you a freak or something?! Do you LIKE this?  Tell me you are grossed out so that I can spit this stuff out and tell you that THIS is what YOU look like!!

**But outwardly, I reply, (trying desperately not to let any tobacco juice spill out of my mouth) gag!..."Sure...sure.....the burn pile should be fine over there."


At this point, Kevin spits. (Oh yeh! I gotta spit!!)  So....I spit (ahem....dribble) and it goes down my chin. (GROSS!)  Kevin gets tickled and I very quickly wipe that nasty stuff off of my chin with my forearm and wrist.


At this point, I'm feeling a little woozy and nauseous.


Kevin repeats, "T...you don't look so good. You sure you're feeling okay?"


I quickly and confidently reply, "Why wouldn't I be? I feel fine...I actually like this taste if you wanna know the truth....so much so that I think I may start.....start.....start.......Blech....(I turn around and vomit my guts out!)


Kevin DOUBLES OVER in fits of laughter.
I am MAD.....and...now sick .....so I huff off in my "mad walk"....You know the one....where every step covers three feet of ground. Ha!


I am in total disbelief that this has backfired so badly on me.

Hmph!  I turn around one last time to see Kevin holding his side while continuing to laugh HARD.  He catches my glaring eye and hollers, "BABE!! COME BACK!!!  We finally found something we can do together!!" as he continues to laugh uncontrollably.

After awhile, he comes inside and I am at the kitchen sink.  He comes over to give me a playful hug, but as he does, I act snobbish and with my first two right-hand fingers, I bring my newly white cigarette to my lips....just as one last ditch effort to shock him.


He looks at me and smiles and says, "You might have had me going if you had actually lit that cigarette."


DANG IT!  I totally stink at this!


Oh well,  I am happy to report that in the end, it all worked out, after all.  
Yep, soon after my...ahem.... "Oscar-worthy" performance, Kevin began dipping "smokeless tobacco."

It's a start. *wink*

So...the old saying's true.... "All's well that ends well."

*But trust me on one thing, friends.  If you have EVER wondered if tobacco tastes as nasty as it looks?.... Let me just assure you..... IT DOES! ;-)

Great day everybody!
Teri

Thou Shall Make a Difference.....one person at a time....

"To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act, is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer."   ~~Mahatma Gandhi


This morning, I got in from my morning run and decided to fold a quick load of laundry before I needed to jump in the shower and start my day.

As I'm folding, I tune in to my favorite morning show, "Good Morning America," and after about 5 minutes, I find myself sitting on the couch glued to this one story that has completely moved me beyond anything I've seen in a while.
I literally find myself in tears!....(happy ones).  I was so touched by this story that I felt compelled to share it with all of you who may have missed it.

This morning GMA surprised three different families with a Disney trip.  You see, others had secretly submitted stories of "why their loved ones deserve such a gift" and now they are just now learning for the first time the "real" reason they are there in Times Square.

All three stories were very good, but it was the "3rd story of the 3rd recipient" that caught my attention and heart the very most.  The third recipient was a 19 year-old boy.  He was very handsome.  All-American look.  Gorgeous smile.  Very kind eyes.

There he was with his mom standing there in Times Square with Lara Spencer.  You could totally tell that he was completely caught off-guard.  You could see him wondering how in the world he won such a trip.
He had no clue who had submitted a story about him.

Lara tells us, viewers, to watch the clip.  This is when he, Marcus Krohn, gets to find out who in the world wrote in to GMA about him.

The clip begins with a mom telling the viewers that her daughter Chelsea, was desperate to go to her senior prom last year.  She had never even been on a date before.

You see, Chelsea is a beautiful girl, who happens to have Down Syndrome.

Chelsea wanted so badly to go to prom that she summoned the courage to ask a boy to go to the prom with her, herself.
That boy told her, "No."

***This is where the story gets GODLY GOOD!

Enter Marcus Krohn (?Not sure how last name is spelled?)  Anyway, think "Zac Efron" type of kid.  Strikingly handsome, good build and you can tell just by looking at him that he is probably most likely considered one of the "cool" kids at their school.

Anyway, Marcus gets wind of the fact that Chelsea wanted to go to their prom, but was turned down....SO.....guess what Marcus does?  Marcus decides that HE wants to be her date!

****At this point in the piece, we, the viewers, get to see the true home footage that Chelsea's mom got when this strapping young fella came to the door with a homemade poster that said, "Chelsea, Will You Go To The Prom With Me?*******

While you hear Chelsea's mom behind the camera sniffling and saying under her breath excitedly, "Oh my gosh...oh my gosh...."
....You see Chelsea, with a stunned look on her face, slowly reading the poster out loud, "Chelsea....will......you......go......to......prom.....with.......me."

Her face TOTAL:LY LIGHTS UP and she gives him an emphatic "YES!"

Marcus then hugs her so tightly.  The mom is in obvious tears as she continues to film this once-in-a-lifetime-scene of her daughter getting asked to the prom by this wonderful young man.

*The next thing we see are beautiful photos of their prom night.

Chelsea was beautiful....and this young fella Marcus?  Movie star handsome.  I'm telling you, the kid is a stud.

At the end of this piece for GMA, Chelsea's mom says, (through tears)...."Marcus treated Chelsea like Cinderella that night.  As they were leaving for the prom, I don't believe Chelsea's feet ever hit the ground."

*Sniff Sniff*...Tissues anyone?
;-)

Honestly...THIS is what it's all about, friends!  Stories like this one, right here!!  My gosh!  If we all had this kind of love, compassion and kindness for each other....Well......I can't even imagine how amazing this world would be.

Let's try it and find out!!!

John Wesley said it best, "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can."

And together, the people say, "AMEN."

To all of the "Marcus Krohns" of the world!
Cheers!
*Clink*

Teri

THOU SHALL LET GO OF FRIENDSHIPS ALONG THE WAY (SOMETIMES)

"Just remember, there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything and the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it the right way."  M*A*S*H ~~ Colonel Potter


About three weeks ago, I received a letter from someone I consider a very dear friend.  I'm not gonna lie to ya..... This particular letter stung.  Shocked me to my core.

This friend wrote to express her feelings with regard to her unhappiness with the type of friend she felt I was to her... (Or wasn't, rather.)

My mom and aunt happened to be here the night I received it, so I walked into their bedroom with letter in hand and a stunned look on my face.  I sat a the edge of the bed and said, "Guys, you won't even believe this letter that I just received from *Sally* . 

Both were completely bewildered as I began to read it aloud to them.
With each reason Sally listed as a reason to terminate the friendship, both Mom and Aunt Kirdy had the most confused looks on their faces.

But after I read it, I did admit to them that some of her issues with me were absolutely valid.  Sally was right:
*I never called or texted her to go eat lunch.
*I never ask her to a movie or to come see any of my children's games.
*Any time we did get together, it absolutely seemed that it was because she initiated it, just like she noted in her letter.
*And, I never asked her to just come "hang out" at the house like I used to do many moons ago.

All true.  She made some good points.  And I have thought about them over and over for three weeks now.

It is so interesting the feelings and emotions that come over you when you receive a letter like this.

First, you feel judged.  You almost feel angry that someone would question your abilities and capabilities of what it takes to be a good friend.

Then you move into this weird stage of defensiveness where you begin to think of all the ways you WERE a true and good friend.  You go back to all those times, events, celebrations and memories where you DID include her and introduce her to many new friends and fun experiences!  I mean, Gosh!  Has she forgotten all of that?!

After this stage, you begin to feel a twinge of guilt.  You start thinking, "Dang...Maybe I should have done more to show her that I cared about our friendship.  Maybe I did take for granted that she would always be there, no matter what.  But that's what true friendship is, right?!

Then you wake up and shake that craziness off and get all defensive again, "No! Nu-uh!  How dare she require so much of me!  With a husband, three kids, two dogs and more sporting events to attend than I know what to do with, how could she expect so much from me?  Can she do this?  Is she allowed to banish me from being her friend because I don't ask her to lunch?  Or a movie?  Or to "hang out?" 
I'd like to see the rules or by-laws on this one right away, somebody! (ha!)

For Pete's sake!  To be frank, I can't even remember the last time my husband and I actually got to see a movie together!  We barely get to see the same sporting event at the same time because we are always divided taking another child to his or her game!  And "hang out" at my house?  Are you kidding me?!  I'd give anything, myself, to just "hang out" at my house!  This just doesn't happen very often, lately.  And whenever it does happen, I am usually playing "catch up" with the laundry, cooking and everything else it takes to manage a busy family of five.

THEN....once you come down from this side of anger, confusion, defensiveness and hurt, you move into this uncomfortable stage of sadness.  You feel sad, yet also this weird sense of relief and acceptance.

Don't get me wrong... My friends actually mean the world to me.  And from what my friends tell me, I'm a pretty good one to have.
My friendships genuinely mean the world to me, which is why this letter came as such a sting to my heart.

Anyway, at the end of her letter, she did wish me happiness, love an joy, which was really nice.
And I genuinely wish her the same.

But something funny happened last night, three weeks after I received her letter.  I actually ran into her at the local theater.  I was taking my youngest son and his friend to movie when I ran into her in the corridor.

It's interesting, the things you think you will do or say when you run into an ex of any kind never really happens the way that you think it will. Ha!

I thought I would feel sadness when I saw her next.  Or maybe I would feel awkward or shy.  Or maybe I would be so overcome with emotion that I would embrace her and tell her how very sorry I was for not being the friend she needed me to be......

But none of that happened.
I didn't feel any of those things at all.
You wanna know what I felt?

I felt nothing.

If anything, I felt something strange and very unfamiliar.  I felt closed up.  I felt a vault of protection surround my heart as we exchanged a couple of awkward pleasantries, before I quickly escaped her presence.

When I go to my seat in the theater, it dawned on me all at once!  For weeks, I have been trying to make sense of something that didn't make sense to me.  And I don't know that it ever will.

But you know what?  That's okay. 
It is what it is.

My job now is to move forward and upward, just like I always preach.  I have this really wonderful ability to not look back, once I make up my mind not to do so.  It's a self-preservation thing, I think, to protect my heart.  And I appreciate that part of myself.

I've decided that.... Letting go of a friend is hard.
Letting go of my authenticity would be much harder.

I am who I am.  And I lead the life I've always dreamed of.  It is a crazy, busy, full-speed-ahead, wonderful life...but I wouldn't change a thing.

I love it just the way it is.... Even if it means I have to lose a friend or two along the way.

The good news?
Whether she knows it or not... I will always be there for her.
I've discovered about myself, that once you are my friend, you are my friend for life! ....(well, unless you hurt my husband or children)...but other than that?  For life! ....(well, unless you spread falsehoods and slanderous lies about my family or me)....but beyond that? For eternity!....(well, unless you don't believe in eternity...then I don't know what to tell ya)....but excluding that?....Well, you get the picture. *wink*

Be good to your peeps!
....In the best way you know how... ;-)

Cheers!
Teri