Thou shall be try to yourself...
“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”
-Author Unknown
Being yourself can be a difficult task. I still remember one of my oldest daughter’s friends telling me about a boy she liked a few years ago and she wasn’t sure whether he liked her too. She was trying a million ways to get this boy’s attention and she had asked what I thought about her “plan.” I told her what I tell my own kids...plotting and planning are one way, but ultimately being yourself is the BEST plan of all. It’s easy...it’s simple...and above all, it works! Being yourself guarantees that late at night, when you turn off the lights and you’re left all alone with just you and your thoughts, you can rest assured that you were true to yourself. Sure, that may not attract that particular boy, but it almost guarantees that the perfect person who is truly attracted to YOU, not who you think he wants you to be, will arrive.
Being true to yourself works in parenting as well. Watch any morning talk show or read any one of a million magazines and there are people trying to teach you how to be a better parent. They offer advice of all kinds...some possibly helpful...some just plain crazy. We listen...we buy books...we try every angle to try to reach some impossibly high standard of parenting. Ultimately, the very vast majority of us know exactly how best to parent...just be true to yourself. Believe in your thoughts and stay true to your convictions...at all cost.
Sure, at some point in time your parenting choices may be judged. They may be criticized. You may even feel the need to defend your parenting choices or actions. In my humble opinion, this is a one way street to nowhere.
Number one, it’s none of their business.
Number two, it’s your choice as a parent HOW to parent.
Number three, it’s none of their business.
Now, here’s where my “commandment” comes in...if challenged (or maybe better put “when challenged” because it’s very likely you have faced or will face this issue), how you conduct yourself speaks volumes.
When I was recently challenged as to my parenting choices, I should have held true to my convictions...I should have felt confident enough about the choices Greg and I have made in raising 4 spectacular girls (if I don’t say so myself). I should have remembered points one through three above. Most of all, I should have understood that I hadn’t the need or desire to get this person’s feedback on my parenting style or my parenting choices.
But instead, when asked for my opinion, I opened my mouth and told this person EXACTLY how I felt about her opinions of my choices.
Was everything I said true? Absolutely. I was raised in an environment where lying was never tolerated. So you can always be sure I am telling the truth. But while speaking the truth can be liberating, it can also be useless and even damaging.
Sometimes it’s better to know the truth and to live the truth, rather than justify the truth to those who don’t share your views.
Hope you guys have a great day and Happy Anniversary to the best friend a girl could ever ask for...someone who lets me be me, and hopefully still loves me as a result.
-Claudia
