Thou Shall Bite Thy Tongue

"You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." ~~ Oscar Wilde

Our family welcomed the newest addition to our family this past  December when my oldest son, Steele, received his long-awaited dream gift in the way of a furry, little, precious chocolate lab, that he named, "Faith."

Since the very day she arrived, my husband, Kevin, who is a total "Type A" personality, has been painstakingly reading every single book on how to properly train labs, as well as, watching every single training DVD he can get his hands on!  And I'm dead serious about this. It's good...but weird.

The worst part is that he is making ME watch these videos with him at night too! I just want to read my fun little magazine or watch my light-hearted show that can lull me to sleep, but nooooo..... Here is a glimpse into my life at night with my husband right now, "Oh, This is a good one, babe! Watch this! Are you watching? I've seen this part three times and this guy is so right on target here."

I close my eyes and pretend to snore....I've even tried to attempt a fun, little innocent pretend strip tease...(didn't work). I've also tried begging, "Nu-uh Kev! I don't wanna!...Please don't make me watch another training DVD."

He always says the same thing, "Well, okay, but when Faith doesn't do what you command her to do, you'll have no one else to blame, but yourself.

I fake yawn (total rebel like that) and say, "Tell ya what...YOU train her while I do everything else during the day to keep our family life running smoothly and when ya get her all good and trained, you tell me the commands and I'll do 'em then. Okay? K."

One night, I was cleaning up from supper and for some reason Kevin decides to be in there with me while he is training Faith.

(This is what I was thinking in my head): "Are you freakin' kidding me?  Is he seriously training her in HERE while I'm trying to clean?  Ooooh, I get it.  He is "forcing" me to get the training commands down, without really 'forcing' me to.  ...Oh, nu-uh...Not tonight, buddy.  Tonight, it's just me and Delilah (a radio show) in the kitchen, so let me just turn this kitchen radio up a bit and you and Faith can do your fun little training session elsewhere.

*Okay, admittedly, I could've handled that better.....but I didn't "choose" to that time. (ha!)

Anyway, when I turned on the radio, Kevin said, "Teri, you really HAVE to take time to train her.  She will never learn to mind or respect you if YOU don't teach her to do so....And NOW is when it is crucial."

With my hands still in soapy water, I look at him and smile that "I've had it up to here" fakey smile and say, "I know, babe.  I'm with her more than any of yall during the day and we do just fine together.  So do your little training activities somewhere else and have fun, but for now, I want a break from DVD's and highlighted chapters or training of any kind. I just need a break."

You wanna know what he said next?  It was this next statement that had my head spinning and smoke steaming from my ears. Ha!

He said, "Babe, you're gonna regret not training her properly at this young impressionable age.  If you continue tellilng her or begging her more than once to do something, she'll know that she can get away with not doing it until SHE'S ready.

*Okay, I get that.

But THEN he added thissss....... "It'll be like what you've done with our kids."

I quickly turned, "What do you mean, 'What I'VE done with our kids?!'"

He responded, "Now, don't get all bent outta shape, babe... what I mean is that the kids don't respect you as much as they do me because you've taught them that they can get away with more.  They know that if they want to get their way, all they gotta do is just keep whining or bugging you about it."

"Cracker what?!" I snapped, "What do you meeean, they don't respect me as much because of how I have raised them?!  Have you lost your ever lovin' mind?!"

He said, "No, Teri, you are taking this all wrong.....I meant that when I tell them to do something, they do it immediately because they know that when I say to do something, I mean it....the first time.  And you have taught them that they can push and push and push until you give in or give up.

(Enter the "Scarlett O'Hara" part of me), "Well, Kevin Netterville, I never...."

HOWEVER, it was what happened next that forced me to take a looooong good look in the mirror. ;-)

I heard Slade "Gator" (my youngest) shooting hoops in his bedroom, so I hollered, "Gator! Go get in the shower buddy...It's past your bedtime.  So go right now, baby!"

From his room, Slade hollers back, "Okay Mama, I'm gonna make 5 more shots and THEN I'll go."

That's when Kevin hollered one word. He yelled out in his "Mufasa" voice,  "Slade!"

All of the sudden, we hear Slade's voice very urgently answer, "Yes sir! Going now!"

I could feel myself blushing as I looked at Kevin.  Kevin just looked back at me and smiled.

Yes, THAT smile.

Aww...Man! .... Da-a-a-ang it.....
Lord, why? Why do I seem to be the one who needs to be humbled all the dang time! haha!

Well, anyway, just so ya know, "Humble pie" sure doesn't taste so good after you've bitten your tongue in half. ;-)

*But I gotta admit, that night's training DVD was really good.  Very interesting! Hee hee!