Thou shall learn when to recharge one and another and thyself

"Take time to recharge your batteries. It's hard to see where you're going when your lights are dim."

-Robert H. Conelly

I have been known to bribe my children. There...I said it. There are times when a trip to the mall or a conveniently gifted itunes card have just come in handy. 

Case in point. My 14 year old daughter recently suffered a concussion during a high school basketball game. I watched from the stands as she laid on the floor, head in the hands...longest 2 minutes of my life, I can assure you. The trainer wouldn’t clear her to return to the game (of course) and she had to miss a week full of practice (as well as another game a few days later). Now, you have to know my kid, because to her, you might as well told her that she had to miss her Senior Prom or that she slept through Christmas Day. She was sad...not just sad...mean...deeeeepppppprrrrreeeessssed. 

I was trying to cheer her up one day as I lay on her bed, her still firmly snuggled under the covers. I talked about how a week off will be good for her soul. It would give her time to focus on school and get the new semester off on the right footing. She pulled the covers down just enough to remind me that she was already a straight A student and all she wanted was to get cleared for practice again. 

Hmmm, I thought...that didn’t work. 

“How about I make homemade waffles and bacon for breakfast?” This was a solid “go-to” plan in terms of getting my children up and at em’ and excited for the day.

“I’m not hungry,” she replied.

Strike two, I thought. Then, it hit me...and, bear in mind, this is not going to be pretty parenting, but just like a batter facing a 3-2 count, with a fastball coming at him right across the plate, I felt I had no choice but to “go there.”

“How about we get dressed and head to the mall to buy those cute jeans you’ve been wanting?” I asked.

Silence.

Then, she peeks from under the covers and says, “really???” a smile now creeping into the corners of her sweet brown eyes.

“Yes, of course,” I say, as I start to head out the door. “Let’s go. Hurry up!”

Fast forward to just a few short hours later, as I see her dancing around our living room, cute jeans on, feeling all around just better about herself. 

Would it have been preferable for her to work through her sadness? Sure. For her to have soul searched about the fact that overall, her life is pretty damn good and she is blessed in so many other ways? Of course. Was I willing to wait that out? Heck, no. I just wanted the sadness to end. I needed to “recharge” her and it needed to be quick. 

Now, I don’t ALWAYS bribe. Sometimes my version of recharging is altogether different. My 12 year old can get the blues from simply the fact that her room is so messy, she feels that moving out is a more viable option that cleaning up.  In that case, my recharge for her usually involves a great pep talk about how nice it will be to see the carpeting again (it is beige, right?) followed by putting our favorite song on as we dance and clean until we start to see the madness subside.

For my husband, a college basketball coach, recharging can be the mere reminding of how much progress his team is making (despite a loss) or how much he has to look forward to with the remainder of his season. 

You get the point...as wives and mothers we are very adept at recharging our family members but just as importantly, we must remember to take the time to recharge our own batteries as well. This can be as simple as a walk in the park or a few undisturbed moments to watch the Oprah episode you have started to watch at least three times, but have not succeeded in getting to the half way mark on.

It is great if you have a family willing to help you recharge. That’s ideal. Consider yourself, like me, very fortunate. Does it take a melt down to get your family members to realize your batteries are below low...that’s ok. If they eventually got there, consider yourself one of the lucky few. For the rest, take the time to recharge yourself. You deserve it. Commit to getting the recharge that you need and do it. And pick whatever way works for you...but by the way, my daughter says “new jeans” can work wonders....