Thou shall Keep up with the Kardashians...if you must...

“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.”  ~Willa Cather

I’ve got a confession...Are you sitting down??? 

(Deep breath) I let my kids watch reality TV.  Lots of reality TV...and not particularly good reality TV (is there any good kind???)

Keeping up with the Kardiashians? They watch it. Toddlers and Tiaras? It’s recorded to the DVR. The Bachelor? Puuullleeeezzzz...we have an entire night at my house devoted to it. 

It’s a sickness, I know, but like with any addiction, the first step is admitting that you have a problem, right? Well, actually, before we get to that, maybe we should evaluate whether we (ok, “I”...since I am in charge of what they watch) have a problem after all.

You see, my children are pretty well balanced, well-mannered, smart kids. They all manage to pull off great grades which I would love to take credit for, but am rarely if ever asked for help. They help around the house without complaining (most of the time). They take care of their baby sister better than any full time nanny I could hire. Sure, they have their moments but overall, I consider myself extremely lucky in the parenting department. To prove my point, if I didn’t have great kids, I would never be able to manage my household, be a partner in my own law firm and still find time to write (which I love).  

So, my kids are great kids. But still, they watch the most incredible amount of crap on TV. I wish I could find a more eloquent word to describe the quality of their programming but I can’t...it’s crap....C.R.A.P. 

You could watch an entire season of “Dance Moms” and not find a single redeeming quality in any of the moms on that show. They are bitter, jealous, hostile and just plain mean. And don’t get me started with the moms on Toddlers and Tiaras. They are so clearly trying to fill some sad, lonely void in their pasts by vicariously living through their once innocent and now, “not so innocent” daughters. Seriously, people, put the blow dryer down and step away from the mascara!

I struggle to find the perfect word to describe the quality of this type of programming but “nauseating” seems to sum it up best.

So, if these shows are so awful, what am I doing allowing my children to watch it? 

First, let’s just dispense with the obvious. These shows are fun. PERIOD. Yes, you heard me...FUN! It’s fun to watch people make complete jackasses of themselves. It’s fun to see these people think so highly of themselves, completely oblivious to the fact that they are making total idiots of themselves on TV. Come on, you know it’s true. Does the young woman who is crying her eyes out after being rudely denied a rose and a chance to return on next week’s episode of “The Bachelor” look like an idiot when she goes on to describe to camera crews how she felt that her and this season’s bachelor really “had found true love” after knowing each other just 36 minutes??? OF COURSE. And that’s what makes it fun. 

But aside from entertainment (and they are definitely entertaining), these shows provide something I think is far more valuable. They teach us what NOT TO DO. And that, my friends, in my opinion, is every bit as important as being told what TO DO.

I could spend a week describing to Alexandra, my ten year old, how important it is to be humble if she beats another girl in a basketball game. We could sit and discuss how your integrity is on the line each and every day and there is no better test of your character and integrity than the manner in which you treat other people. I could teach her that gloating and being cocky will make her look ugly and arrogant and that is no way to behave OR....

I could watch an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras and listen to one mom go on and on about how her daughter is the MOST beautiful, MOST talented, has the longest eye lashes and the best bikini body of anyone who has ever competed in the 4 and under division....(and, yes, people, there is a swim suit competition).

I could describe to Gabby, my fourteen year old, the importance of protecting her virtue and staying true to herself...or we could watch an episode of the bachelor and watch girl after girl do unthinkable things on first “dates” only to be cut by the bachelor after that very evening (relax, friends, it is public broadcasting...) After such an episode the conversation usually goes something like this...

Gabby: “Why in the world would she do that?”

Me: “I’m not sure, honey. I guess she thought, stupidly, that by doing that, she would get him to like her more.”

Gabby: “She’s an idiot. It only made her look like a tramp.”

Now, that, my friends, is what we mothers like to call a “teachable moment.”

Sure, are there more traditional ways to teach my children? Of course. And please put the phone down because Child Protective Services is very busy today....I promise you I mix in plenty of good ole’ fashioned  traditional parenting with the non-traditional. My only point is that it can be just as easy to learn proper behavior by watching examples of what not to do...just as easy and a lot more fun!