Thou Shall "Sometimes" Embrace Your Stubborn Side

Okay, I'm just gonna say it..... I'm gonna let you in on a little secret of mine.  
The truth of the matter is that, as sweet and kind and loving and fun as most people think I am, (and I sure try to be all of those things!), my husband knows another side of me that I keep hidden from the world.  
Here it is.  You ready?  Okay, the truth is: 

I, Teri Spinks Netterville, can be one Stubborn Cookie.

THERE, I said it. 
It's true.  I can be as stubborn as a flippin' mule....and I know this about myself. 


Is it a genetic trait?  I happen to think that it is. (Ahem, Mom!) ha!

My stubbornness is actually something I have worked on and somewhat improved upon over the years.  Well, that is....with everybody....... BUT my husband, for some reason.;-)
But wait! Before you judge me, I have a valid rationaliz....uh.....reason for standing my ground when it comes to being stubborn with him. 

My husband, Kevin, would probably tell you that it is because I am, in his words, "The Crown Princess of I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar."  
Nu-uh.....Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, he's got it ALL WRONG. 

I believe the times I am forced to become stubborn *wink* (or as I like to refer to those times as "standing my ground for a greater cause").... is because I truly believe it is my duty...no!...that's not even grand enough!.... It is my freakin' obligation to my daughter to allow her to see me (her mother and same-sex role model) stand up for what I believe is right, even if it sometimes causes a loud "fellowship" with her daddy, my beloved husband. (ha)  

AND it is also equally important to me for my boys to understand that they must always LISTEN to their wives and take her feelings into consideration before any big "life" decision is made.  

I want all three of mine to understand that marriage is fun! It is good! And it can absolutely be all that you want it to be.....if you make sure to always consider the other person's feelings. In essence, marriage can be amazing if you understand that it is one big compromise! (And that might mean fussing about it a little bit before you get to that compromise.)


So, my "stubbornness" can be a good thing for my children to witness, I believe.


The only time I feel my stubbornness is a problem ....is when I buck my husband during those times that his "demand" really doesn't matter a hill o' beans to me. 
(I know. Why?  Why would I do this?  Why would I get stubborn and "start something"  if it really doesn't matter to me, right?  I mean, I must secretly like to fight.)  
No! I promise I don't! I hate it so much! 

I ONLY get hard-headed during those times I feel he is insisting or "demanding" I see things his way. And it almost feels "bully-ish".  It's like I want to thump his head and say, "I didn't really care, ya crazy!...but now I gotta go and get all "donkey" on ya because you had to pull an "Archie Bunker" on me! What gives? ha!


But for all of you psychoanalyst out there...Here's the true "sitch"... 
Kevin grew up in a home with "Archie" and "Edith Bunker" for his parents, while I grew up in a home with "Cliff" and "Claire" Huxtable for my parents. Uh..yeh... Do you see the dilemma already.  Uh-huh...thought ya might.;-)


So, not only did both of us come into a marriage with completely different backgrounds and completely different kinds of parenting styles that we witnessed growing up, but we each had totally different expectations of what we felt the role for the other should be! ha!


And look, I'm not saying that one of us grew up with a better parenting style over the other (okay I guess I sorta am, if I'm completely honest)hee!.. Anyway, in our particular situation,  each of our parents fit their role to a TEE.  Kevin's mom loves being the "Edith" and what man wouldn't love being "Archie" with an "Edith" running around catering on him all day.  She amazes me.  And I love her so much. I love them both. :)


I was raised to believe that my Dad was the absolute head of the household, however, it was very clear that Dad cared about Mom's input and he wasn't going to make any major decisions without Mom's total and complete blessing.


SO....what do you get when you put "Edith and Archie's" son with "Claire and Cliff's" daughter??


You got it!  Some freakishly loud "Marital Christian Fellowship" (okay, we'll just go with that. Ha!)...and A LOT of it the first couple of years of marriage! Ha!

But I think that the true tie that binds our marriage and makes our union ever solid,  is the fact that each of us feels able (and comfortable) to stand up for what we believe in, even if it causes a little friction at first. 

I believe KEY ingredients to a couple's successful marriage is their ability to Listen, Care about the others feelings and Compromise, Compromise, Compromise.

After all these years, Kevin says he is grateful to be married to a "strong" woman. He even has admitted that some of my "stubborn ways" was what attracted him to me in the first place. Can you believe it? He used to think it was "cute." ....Not so much anymore. Ha! .... 

But he does see the purpose for it sometimes.  We've both come a long way.  And although this journey we're on together can be tough sometimes, I wouldn't want to travel it with any other person in the world.
I feel very grateful to have a guy who "gets me" and who will continue to work hard to make this union what God meant for it to be.


So....is being stubborn really all that bad?


....Only if it is used in a way that takes you back a few steps, instead of forward towards a higher purpose. ;-)

Anyway, just a thought.


Great day everybody,
Teri